My career in criminal justice, specifically as a Probation Officer, spans over 30 years. I have worked with the hard reality of addiction and crime. Some of the literature I read was written by psychiatrists, social workers, substance abuse counselors, and former addicts. There is very little literature written by the families of addicts. Those who have to carry the cross of the addicted. So, I applaud the author of this very riveting book, Rick Van Warner, for sharing his son’s (Tommy) story. As well as the story of his entire family, fighting to be released from the grip of addiction. Addiction grips every family member, addicted to drugs or not.
For over seven (7) years, I worked specifically with drug addicts and mental health cases. As I read this book, I felt I was reliving the tragedies. There were the lies told by the addicted; some almost comical and some very tragic. I saw first hand the shot in the stomach a parent felt when a son or daughter did not come home. The countless weekends parents spent visiting their child in rehab, jail, or the worse place on Earth – prison. Or, as only a parent could tell it, the horror of running to the emergency room because their child had overdosed and there are only two (2) words doctors say to describe their condition, “stable but…”
Yes, Mr. Warner hits a home run telling this story. The opening pages of Tommy’s story begins with Mr. Warner entering a vacant building along with a friend looking for his son. The frustration he felt with the local police department providing little assistance. In the book, Mr. Warner self-reflects about the relationship he had with his father. Was he doing the same to Tommy that his father did to him? Was he praising other family members at Tommy’s expense?
Mr. Warner guides us through a labyrinth of drug treatment centers Tommy was admitted into. Each time he was pulled back into what we often call, “the gravity of addiction.” Mr. Warner concludes how drug treatment centers are a business. “In the end, recovery and residential treatment centers, like any other business, exist to make money.” (p. 85) He reflects on the financial burden it cost his family. “Our family made significant contributions to this business, incurring far more than six figures in debt tied to trying to save Tommy as he shuffled between various voluntary and involuntary treatment facilities during his late teens and early twenties.” (p. 86)
The book is well written and describes the conflict society if having with addiction. Is it really a disease as reported by the Center for Disease Control? Or, is it all part of the “war on drugs” as law enforcement approaches it? Neither can be 100 % right with such a complex issue. However, one thing is certain. Millions of addicts, no matter who loves them or cares for them, will find a way to get high. Yes, no matter the costs to love ones in financial and emotional hardship. The author hits the nail on the head when he writes, “It’s interesting how much the difficult realities of addiction can remind you what really matters in life and what doesn’t.” (p.196)
As I was reading this book, I began to reflect on my own career. Did I say the right thing at the right time to my addicts or mental health cases? Or, did I talk too much to someone who just needed someone to listen? Law enforcement officers can never second guess themselves. We can only work with what we have at our disposal.
At the end, Mr. Warner and his son learned a great deal about each other and even more about themselves. He leaves Tommy in a much better place than at the opening of the book. I found myself cheering for Tommy, and his dad, much like I cheered for my cases. I only regret that many of my cases did not have a Mr. Warner, whose resilience and fortitude to never give up, made all the difference.
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